Winter Wonderland
by Dagdoth Fliesh
Summary: It was supposed to be a relaxing vacation months away from the world. Ariana would have her vacation alright, a vacation from hell. M/F, OC, Xeno **Updated 1/31/11
1. Winter Wonderland

Updated 1/7/2011 - I didn't know where I would go with Three Preddies, so I took out all but one. We'll work it from here.

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Winter Wonderland

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All Ariana Suojanen had wanted was a little _peace_ and a little _quiet._

Fresh out of college, she finished her Lab Tech major in four years working part-time. Then Ariana had partied, drank a little too much in toast to her graduation into the real world, and woke up the next day with a hang over. It was time for a _vacation_. This was a vacation from _hell,_ that's what it was. It hadn't even turned to hell because of her family. She'd given her father, her mother, and even her grandma all the attention they needed for the next ten years before taking off to middle-of-nowhere U.S. of A. just so she could have some peace and quiet_._

Ariana grew up in Minnesota - - yes, she was "Minnesota-Nice"; yes, she owned more than one shovel; yes, she told time in miles instead of hours; and yah bet'cha she said yah bet'cha (and, _God_, she hated the movie _Fargo_). She hadn't grown up in the city - not in Minneapolis, St. Paul, or Duluth - but in a moderate sized town next to Lake Superior, the largest mass of fresh water in USA. Said town was noted to have the only stoplight in the entire county, one road leading to civilization, and one hell of a tourist problem.

The town population was comprised of old fogies, automobile building hicks, and imported city-folk. To Ariana, they rounded each other out well enough that she could stand them in controlled proportions. Her mother was an import and her father was a fogy, and when her mother broke up with her dad and married a hick, she got the best of all three worlds. Not only could she walk-the-walk and talk-the-talk like a city-slicker, but she knew how to handle a gun and run a vehicle in all sorts of weather. Fogy wise, she was rather reserved and knew when the Government was trying to pull a fast one.

Right now she felt like the _universe _was trying to pull a fast one.

She'd packed a turkey, a ham, fruits, vegetables, _and_ Christmas holiday favorites for her trip to the family cabin, sixty miles north of town and just on the edge of the Boundary Waters. She was planning to spend all her time up in that winter wonderland until her money ran out. If she were lucky she might make it into summer, or as the locals called it: _bug-season_.

Well, Ariana had thrown her four-wheel drive Subaru into gear and hit the Trail, a road that lead to 40,000 plus lakes, and was stuck listening to the sound of slush under tires for a near hour. It was storming, and the snow was coming down hard, gray-black skies that barely cut back the snow glare. The back of her car was filled with clothes and necessities for her few months of vacation, books, movies, hunting license, gun, ice-fishing pole, goodies galore. She wasn't leaving that cabin come hell or high water.

Too bad she forgot to think of _aliens_.

"No, no, no, _no_!" she squawked at the giant humanoid standing inside the entryway as she pulled at her wet brown hair, the snow still melting on her boots. She felt like she was going insane. There couldn't be an _alien _in _her_ cabin! "This is _my_ vacation, I won't have _none_ of it, _none_! Get out! You crashed your own _God-damned_ space-ship! I won't have none of it!"

"_No, no, no, _no_!_" her own voice was thrown back at her, "_This is_ my _vacation,_ _I won't have _none_ of it!" _The armored behemoth stepped forwards. Her first thought was to high-tail it out of there, and her second thought was to grab the thirty-thirty.

The blizzard howled behind her, the still open door clattering and allowing in the vicious stinging wind.

Ariana had arrived on time, making it vaguely 8 pm. The two mile long road that lead to the house had not been plowed, and there was already three feet of snow piled up from earlier months. Thus, she unlatched the trailer to her snowmobile and loaded her belongings onto its sled, using that vehicle as transport until she could shovel her car in. She finished the trip in twenty-odd minutes, and found herself under a massive white-pine that hovered over the house. Massive meaning it would take three people to encircle the trunk with their arms. The cabin was surrounded by acres of woods and rested above Clearwater Lake (now frozen over). All the other cabin owners had gone south to Florida for the winter, so she knew she wasn't going to be bothered by them.

That was when she noticed something… _odd,_ to say the least.

Odd as in the yard was in smithereens with hunks of shiny silver metal scattered around a gigantic space-craft. The snow around the blast-site had melted, leaving a now icy crater. Then she'd seen the huge footprints leading to her cabin.

Now she was faced with an other-worldly creature, staring at her through a blackened visor. He (what else could it be, by the codpiece covered loincloth - - not to mention the body) deadly silent through her tantrum.

"You're not real!" she babbled on, pointing fiercely at his rippling chest. "Aliens _don't_ exist!"

He answered with a trill, tilting his head in interest. But at her motion he also stepped forwards, corralling her back towards the still open door. Ariana took shaky steps back, her heart racing into her throat. "Stay away!" her voice hit a new shrill pitch. "You _stay away_ from _me_, you fat _lizard_!"

He scared her, and the macabre bones over his hide did not help.

Plain colored (for an alien, at least), he had bulk and height over Ariana by a long shot. His hide had a creamy yellow underbelly, fluctuating into pale greens and mottled black-brown blotches. His space armor looked heavy, making him even larger, layering down his left arm and right shoulder. His dreads were interwoven with gold and his foremost skull was that of a _human_. The empty sockets stared out at Ariana, trying to take her atheist soul. His mask was harshly simple, a black visor and muzzle, nothing more.

Before Ariana could finish gawking, he raised his massive paws to his face to unlatch a hose. Air streamed out with a hiss and Ariana jumped, ready to bolt for her rifle. She was a pretty good shot, she could take them. But the horror held her in place. Frozen, she was forced to watch the unmasking. With a sickening sucking noise, the mask was free.

It was horrible, his face was all jaws and tusks without a nose, thick spines sticking all over massive heavy brows. A pair of unfathomable and indescribably intelligent eyes besought her hazel. When the mandibles pulled into something like a _smile_, and a deep gurgle that sounded suspiciously like "_Hello_," came forth, Ariana could take no more.

She screamed Holy-Mother-of-God and quickly back peddled out the door and off the decking - - right into a massive snow pile. Eerie clacks followed her over the howling wind and falling snow as she struggled to free herself and reach her vehicle. Sunk waist deep, a massive hand grabbed the back of her jacket. Ariana was out of the embankment and back inside; the screen door clattered and the inner closed. All occurred before another squeak could escape.

When Ariana was young, she hadn't been a wimp - - being a wimp in a small town was a death sentence. In high school she'd jokingly played a year of football on the boy's team (made possible because it was such a tiny high school). When she was in kindergarten she made it a point to beat up any fifth grade boy that said anything derogatory about her friends. And then somewhere in middle school, she and other nerds had covered the "what-to-do's" when the zombie apocalypse came. Only it seemed they had over prepared for the wrong invasion.

Now, the woman was paralyzed with fear, shaking in her too-large boots, and nearly pissing herself as the tall alien hauled her ass back inside. She was going to be supper, she knew it, she knew it, she knew it. Later she would be embarrassed to say she did indeed beg for her pitiful life and cry like a little girl, something she had never done before. Considering she had just recently turned 23, this was a feat.

Tall, massive, and muscled held her above the floor by the scruff of her jacket, allowing her to let the remnants of her dwindling hysteria away without another try for the door. Then it was silent once again - - broken only for sniffles.

Then slowly, carefully, she was set on her feet.

He looked at her, and she looked at him, and they studied each other for a long moment. Then finally he actually said: "Not so little… anymore," and something buried behind years of childhood, tomboyish, fantasy came rushing back. She didn't know what brought it on, the shock, or maybe just because she felt like a child looking up at him.

Ariana held her head with her hands, as if that would steer away the impending migraine. Tensely, the woman walked farther into the cabin, feeling like her legs were going to buckle under her heavy winter gear, trailing melted snow in her wake until she reached the cupboards. His silent gaze followed her cautious movements.

Earlier in the season, the cabin had been her family's deer camp, and every year they left some booze behind. This year it was gin and god did she _need_ it right then.

The air smelt of tobacco, wood fires, and deer musk, the counter she sat down at was grainy, hand made by her Great Grandfather generations ago, worn smooth through countless years. Ariana meticulously unscrewed the cap and breathed the alarmingly strong fumes of the liquor. She managed two or three choking gulps, all of which burned her throat before setting the alcohol down.

"_Uff-da_," Ariana finally said. The counter flew up to meet her. She would also later deny that she had ever fainted. Fainting just wasn't done in Minnesota, not where the women were tough.

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Thanks everyone for reading! This is a lighter, humorous story to counter-act my "Survival of the Fittest" Predator fan fiction that I am also working on. As you may or may not have guessed, I am from Minnesota, and I am very proud of my state. This was indeed brought on listening to _Winter Wonderland _at Christmas time, not that it'll have much to do with the song.

_(1)Suojanen_ is a Finish name meaning "Son of Suojan." It is pronounced Soy-han-en.

_(2)Uff-da_ is a saying Minnesotan's use for just about anything, a interjection for hard work or mental stress.

And that's the prolog to the story. I appreciate comments and critiques, and look forwards to receiving them!


	2. The Dilemma

Chapter 1

Every summer when Adriana was little, her father would take her to the family cabin.

Minnesota summers were notoriously nice, not too hot, not too wet, not too humid, not too stormy, the list goes on. It all roles down to 70 degrees Fahrenheit and a warm boreal sun. The only down points were giant mosquitoes (thus _bug-season_), and that tourists were around every corner (later in life, someone had the gall to ask her when deer turned into moose - - they were completely serious). The cabin was her father's way of getting away from the life that suddenly exploded in the small town, and his way of bonding with his daughter.

Ariana's lazy afternoon weekends were spent drifting along the massive lake, fishing for lake trout and small mouth bass, foraging through marsh bogs for bullfrogs, and getting second degree sun burn. She had freckles on her face and muddy feet; she loved every moment.

One day when she was six, she wandered into the woods looking for adventure alone, not realizing how far from the cabin she had strayed. By the time she had realized her error, she could not find her way back. Her father's massive family was also at the cabin that weekend, and although caring as a whole, they did not notice her absence among festivities.

At first it was easy to think Dad was going to come along any moment and berate her gently for wandering on her own, or that her older cousin Mathis would whisk her back to the massive pine tree to show her his collection of trinkets and _Magic_: _The Gathering_ playing cards. Neither happened.

She spent hours wandering in the woods between thick balsam fir's that clawed at her dark hair and scratched her face, wondering when exactly she'd find her way back to the lake. However, she had turned around more than once and no longer knew her true direction. In fact, she had been heading deep into the Boundary Waters.

The Boundary Waters straddled the Minnesota-Canadian border, stretching across acres of unpopulated terrain. Tourists frequented it constantly for canoeing and relaxation, and all Ariana could find was terror. Clearwater Lake was officially considered Boundary Water, and one step in the wrong direction was all it took to become well lost - - some people remained lost for weeks, some even died.

Ariana would become that exception.

The sun had sank low into the horizon, bringing with it the bugs and the Minnesota cold. Ariana's pudgy child fingers itched the burning bites as she shivered and tore through another bush. However, her foot slipped into a hole created by cedar roots and she fell down a brushy hill, scrapping her hands across sharp rocks and pebbles. With that failure she was content to sit and snivel at the base of the incline.

Three red triangular dots glided up her skinny legs and rested on her collar.

Ariana looked up, hazel eyes wide. She had caught the creature cleaning a kill, a doe fat from foraging, half skinned and strewn across the pine-needle covered soil, eyes glazed and mouth bloodied. Ariana knew that you had to skin a deer before you hung it. Her father had done the same on his own buck the winter before - - only this creature used his bare, black-clawed, hands.

He was taller than her dad by many feet, and she had to crane her neck to see his horned mask. It was fearsome, a visage of gilded teeth and symbols. She might have wailed had not his tense stance softened. Low rumbles came from his chest, the target system disengaging. The deep bass sound was comparable to the kitten she had recently received - - she associated the sound with warmth and sleep and thus was nullified of her strongest fears.

The claw of a hand beckoned her, and what could she do but follow? Rising, Ariana sniffled and wiped her scraped hands across her belly, trying to keep a straight face, trying to be tough. She dared to get within arm's length of the armored giant, heaving lung-full's to restrain half-sobs; the claw reached for her.

Thick knuckles brushed over her flushed cheeks, smearing her face with sticky deer blood. Then the beast crouched once again to his kill.

Ariana watched, making little noise out of nature, a hiccup or two filling the space between the sound of ripping hide. There was the smell of rust, of iron, the musk of the deer, the pines. His yellow-green hands were bathed black by blood, and soon all that was left on the deer was meat.

He tied the hind legs with a cord of rope, and hoisted his kill high into the cedar tree. Once satisfied animals couldn't reach, the giant turned back to Ariana and the visor of the helmet flashed gold.

Later, her family would berate her for scraping her hands and for worrying them with her prolonged absence. She spent the night in the cabin, staring out the window long past her set bed-time, wondering if the creature that had carried her was outside. Years had passed without seeing anything to remind her of that night, and thus it had floated away into memory.

Funnily enough, Ariana wasn't afraid of monsters under her bed afterwards.

And now, modern day, Ariana wondered if he'd crashed here on purpose. She wondered if he had abandoned ship here because he was acquainted with the place and it was far out of the way of human civilization. She didn't proclaim to be so self important that he thought to her being there, or arriving after he crashed - - he seemed curious about the situation. Ariana was not. She wanted her damned _vacation_.

Half dazed and half drunk from gin, Ariana rested her head on the counter where she had passed out only a few hours before, the bottle still clutched in her hand. The alien was engrossed with family trophies on the walls - ducks, deer heads, large fish, antlers - his grotesque mandibles tapping together absently as a clawed thumb caressed the bones on his chest.

"You were here before," she slurred, and he jerked towards her with a disconcerting speed. "When I was little - - you're the shh-shame one, aren't yah?"

Her nightmarish-hunter-killer stood over her then, small amber eyes peering from black sockets. The pale-yellow flesh of his face was riddled with small wrinkles yet sturdy and malleable, while the dome skull seemed hard and rough, a black crest jutting upwards before the thick tresses. The mandibles stretched dexterous skin while scrapping tusk against tusk, keeping the points sharp. Those joints jutted with dangerous bone, and the inner jaw breathed out foul smelling breath - - meat, Ariana's nose recognized with a twitch.

"_You were here before,_" her voice echoed back from his gauntlet with a tap of a claw, "_When I was little - - you're the… same one, aren't yah?_" He made a slow trill, as if calculating the meaning of her words, yellow eyes rolling sideward in contemplation before back again.

But Ariana didn't need his words to know it was true - - he barely looked like he'd aged a day. "Wha's your name?"

If he understood, his name ended up being many syllables and half a dozen odd clicks that she couldn't make. As if understanding the physical disability, he shortened it, "Thei'hma."

"Thay-hama," her slur helped the pronunciation. She raised a heavy hand to point at herself. "I'm Ariana Suojanen - - you can call me Ana."

"_Ana_," the monster mimicked.

It still seemed too unrealistic to be true; Ariana swallowed the rest of her alcohol. "I'ma bring my things inside now," she said after a moment, soaking in the unnatural warmth in her belly. "Then I'ma sleep this off, okay? _Then_ if you're still here, and this isn't a dream because I _crashed_ on the way to the cabin and am suffering _hypothermia_, we'll call me crazy."

Ariana dismounted the stool and stumbled right into Thei'hma's hulking form. Every sinewy muscle in his abdomen tensed and large armored hands clamped her shoulders tight. She steadied herself as a wave of vertigo flooded her senses with a bitter oily smell. He _felt_ real enough.

"On second thought," she groaned, lurching, "I may go to bed now."

"…_go to bed now," _Thei'hma's recorder answered, body hot against hers, even through her winter gear.

She gave a half-sane giggle in reply, and was forcibly turned towards the bedroom. "If you're real, I think I'm going to flip. I'm going to flip very, very badly."

"_Flip_…_badly_,"he replied again, dragging her across the room.

The alien picked up her squealing form and set her on the bed. His massive head tilted, tusks clacking, then he pushed her shoulder roughly. Ariana fell back with a "oof."

"…_go to bed now."_ That recorder sure was versatile.

"Yes, _mom_," Ariana groaned and rolled over, asleep before she knew what hit her.

Thei'hma surveyed the female curiously. She had drank far too much of her ooman _c'ntlip_. Her breath was horrible.

Rattling in humor, he turned back into the main part of the dwelling, picking between his fangs with a flick of the tusk. Strange, these oomans. The amusement of the female was short lasted however, as he peered out of the dwelling view-port and was reminded of his situation.

Thei'hma's _N'biv-de_ lay in ruins outside and he had no means to fix it or signal his clanship. It could be a long time before they investigated his disappearance. Cycles maybe. He would miss out on another rutting season with his females. All the skulls he had collected, on what the oomans called an "Ah'f'rikahn Zapha'ree," would go to waste. He could have roared with anger. The rut season was close, his internal clock told him by the faint throbbing of his groin every time he thought of females.

The _N'biv-de_ had been damaged by soft meat weaponry in _Ah'f'rikah._ Thei'hma had managed to steer his craft into the upper atmosphere of the backwater planet, but the main reactor failed. To the best of his ability, he directed the wounded space-craft to part of the planet he had visited cycles before. It was densely forested and lacking in vicious pyode amedha, with many lakes in which to hide his ship. Only he could not direct his ship into a lake with the speed of the crash.

And he had not expected it to be so _cold._

Thei'hma clacked to himself, looking at the hellish environment in distaste. He preferred to drink hard meat blood over this cold. Even the cycles before had been cool, far below preferred temperatures for the hunt. The perfect temperatures for the oomans to flee to, however. Thus he'd followed and became lost in other bountiful game.

Then the ooman pup found him.

_That_ had been a story to tell his hunt brothers on the ship. They'd laughed at how clumsy the ooman pup was and how it was unable to navigate its own environment. His old Hunt Brother, Ik'gra, commented that he would have left such a stupid creature to die - - it would have _grown_ to be stupid. Thei'hma, however, understood that the sense of smell in the pyode amedha was weak, and that their sucklings were more dependant on their bearers and sires than other Prey species. Any ooman pup of that age would have surely died if not brought back to its clan.

The female pup was fortunate that it had ran into a Hunter that researched, showed mercy for mistakes. He'd helped it - - picked it up like a suckling of his own kind and carted it the few hundred noks back to her clan.

He'd stayed only long enough to make sure the pack took her in, and watched with interest at the amount of social bonding. The pup was coddled, picked up, embraced, then trounced around with other pups.

Thei'hma had 63 sucklings, many, for his relatively young age. Of course, he was also an Honored Warrior and had been so for cycles. He possessed a ship, was allotted the honor of singular hunt, and bestowed the right by his Elder to hunt the pyode amedha. Females pounced on him during rut like lions on gazelles. He purred. Thanks to the female's vicious spurs his body was scarred and toughened. His last female, now two cycles ago, had gouged his thigh clean open as he mounted her. Thei'hma's loins stirred at the thought. _That_ had been a rut.

But he was going to miss the next rut, after having spent the last cycle too far out from the clan ship hunting - - he didn't make it back on time. Thei'hma felt he would go _hulij-bpe,_ crazy, if he couldn't impregnate a female. It had been building and building, a pressure that ran to the forefront of his mind every few ooman _minutes_. His balls were heavy and his cock was hard, he was _primed_ for rut.

Thei'hma hissed and palmed his metal codpiece. It did little but make the ache worse. If this continued, he wouldn't be able to think straight. And the only female near was Ana. She wasn't even his species.

But Ana _smelt_ like a female, a very _ripe _female.

Thei'hma clicked in one part contemplation another part desperation.

He was indeed stranded on this backwater planet until his clan elders tried to contact him. They would send arbitrators to search - - they had to prepare for the worst after all. It was probable he might remain on the planet for many ooman _years_.

But he did not have to miss _rut._ The Warrior knew that the pyode amedha were compatible with his species for mounting - it was similar to the yautja's own process - he'd watched ooman mating many times in his research. He'd seen them do things he hadn't even thought capable before traveling to the ooman planet. A female had once kneeled down and taken a male's reproductive organ into her oral cavity, stroking the male's shaft with her taste sensor. The groans of the male said he enjoyed the strange practice.

Thei'hma purred at the idea of Ana using her alien mouth on his own pipe.

It was unusual for yautja to take sexual pets, but not unheard of. The yautja were xenophobic by nature, but they were not all so clinched that they wouldn't try new things. Mounting the ooman would likely prove difficult, taxing, but a relief in the end, Thei'hma was sure. They were willful creatures, oomans, and small. He only had to convince her. The other Hunters would not care - - they certainly hadn't cared when they'd seen Elder K'rik in the Queen hold, enjoying the hard meat's dense flesh.

Thei'hma gave a throaty purr and settled his twitching cock.

Surely he could convince the ooman to rut with him. It was a win-win situation, was it not? They'd both have, as the oomans said, "fuh'k bud-ehs" away from their kind. Desperately, Thei'hma planned. His trophies wouldn't go to waste.

Ariana stared at the behemoth. He stared right back. She was certain that hangovers didn't cause delusions, so the alien must have been real. Great. No vacation for Ariana.

He'd donned his mask again, and for that Ariana was thankful. His face disturbed her at an instinctual level, and she preferred it covered. While interesting and moving, the set was definitely that of a predator. His yellow eyes were forwards and his teeth sharp. Ariana did not like feeling like she was prey, but a strange tingle slithered down her spine as if to say: it's too late for that.

Had Thei'hma not been here, her plan was to go hunting. With all the weaponry on this guy, however, she felt pulling out a gun was not a good idea. Movies might be a better way to start the vacation, or maybe a book. Her stomach growled. No, no, food, _food_ was the best way to start. It would help with her mild hangover.

After dragging her sled full of personal items inside she laid down some rules. She was afraid of the beast, she could admit to that, but she downright needed him to understand. If last night wasn't more than a drunken haze, he obviously understood a lot.

"These are my things, and you will _not_ touch them," she jabbed a finger at her clothes and personal items. He watched her put them away into drawers, clicking. "If you do, so help me Chuck Norris, I will keelhaul your scaly ass."

She made for the food, "And this is my food. If you eat my chocolate, my ice-cream, my friggin' _bacon_, so help me _Satan_… you don't want to know."

"_Not touch, not eat," _he conceded.

Ariana felt like a weight had lifted. She made bacon with toast and eggs, and sat at the wood table, fork firmly in hand. The alien followed, tilting his head, observing. It was as if she were some rare animal. Or he planning the best way to anal probe her. That's what aliens did after all. _Anal probe_.

He growled.

Ariana choked down on her eggs and set down her fork to gulp water. Perhaps it wasn't the best time to think of alien abduction.

Her deduction was not far off.

Thei'hma studied the female. For a ooman, she was well proportioned. Wide hips, a lean body. He imagined mounting her - - how she would feel wrapped around his cock. Oomans were miniscule compared to his own females, soft and more curved. Ooman females also had breasts when they were without child, a strange feature, even on this backwater planet. Thei'hma wondered what the lumps of flesh felt like.

Ariana dumped her plate in the sink, turning back around - - only that he was right there. She jumped, looking up the broad chest with wide eyes. He made a strange sound at her then, a chirp that settled into a low gurgle.

"Um…" she scooted sideward but the beast followed, "what?"

She squeaked as a massive hand pressed over her heart. It was gone so fast she wondered if it had ever been there. The alien looked down at her expectantly, repeating the strange gruff trill. Ariana suddenly felt that not forcing him out of her home was a bad idea for her personal vacation. She'd had thoughts of locking him in a closet - - out of sight, out of mind, after all.

"I don't know what you want," Ariana swallowed thickly.

He shifted and pressed his paw to her chest again - - his skin was _hot_. He had no business being so toasty in Minnesota. He did the gesture again… and again, becoming increasingly fidgety. Finally, his solution was to corner her into the cupboard and purr. Low.

The feeling of his body against hers made her entire body _vibrate_. It felt _amazing_. All the more reason for it to _stop_.

Ariana balked. She laughed nervously as he squished her lower back firmly to the wood. Her hands came up of their own accord and caught at his wrist before he accidentally touched something more jiggly.

"We need to have a talk about personal bubbles!" The woman was certain had the massive male tried, he could have easily broken her hold. He was surprisingly lenient under her grasp and finally relented as she pushed him away by the abdomen.

"You see this?" Ariana said, drawing an invisible circle around her body with a finger. "This is my bubble. Please don't enter it. You don't enter mine, I won't enter yours."

His head tilted, and a curious chirp came forth. Ariana nearly guffawed at such a stupid noise coming from something so decked out in weapons -

Thei'hma wondered if the _female_ was _hulij-bpe _from lack of mating. She _had_ no such bubble.

This was going to be harder than first thought.

- Ariana sighed instead, her second shadow turning to follow her as she prepared for a shower. She found a comfy pair of slacks and a towel and headed for the bathroom. He would have followed her there too, if she hadn't turned around and stopped him.

"Nah-ah, you're not coming in here with me, stay out there." Ariana shut the door in his tilted face.

The first day passed fine - - fine beyond getting used to 300 lbs of pure scaled muscle pressing against her at every other moment (he obviously didn't understand the concept of a personal bubble). By the end of the day her nerves were frazzled, but even an _alien_ male knew when to take the couch, because no way in hell was she letting the giant sleep with her.

He may have been a monstrous walking space heater, but that didn't mean she was going to be weak and ask for him to warm the cold bed. Ariana didn't think she could take him pressing against her like a giant vibrator much longer.

And that made her flush, because she didn't think that he knew what he was doing to her. At least that's what she _thought_. That and it was wrong to be aroused by a seven-foot-nine, codpiece-clad, extraterrestrial-warrior.

Ariana blamed it on her luck with men: she'd had one boyfriend during college, and they were more or less straight up and loving as a pair. There was trust, respect, everything needed for a happy couple. Only for the fact that size_ does_ matter. And not the size of her boyfriends _guns - -_ because he pumped iron, but the size of his _prick_. And in that department Ben had been severely lacking. It was like making love to a flat piece of cardboard, she couldn't even tell he was there (and he was the first one she'd had flat out sex with, so it couldn't have been the size of _hers_)_._ He was just _that_ lacking.

So when a giant-nightmarish-alien-hunter from outer-space wanted to press against Ariana and turn himself into a living vibrator every other second - - who could blame a poor deprived woman of wondering if his bits and pieces were as large as the rest of him?

Ariana groaned for the umpteenth time that morning and rolled over again. This was the exact reason she had wanted a vacation - she didn't want to worry over relationships, and she sure as hell wished that her newest roommate wasn't so personal. This was like a bad hentai gone wrong.

Of course, most hentai were _already_ bad and wrong, so it made little difference - - and she'd seen plenty of those, trust me.

Finally, Ariana swung her feet to the cold floor and scooted from the bed. A clattering trill greeted her. She was as ready as she was going to be to face the day.

* * *

Translations

Ah'f'rikah: Africa.

Ah'f'rikahn Zapha'ree: African Safari.

C'ntlip: alcohol.

Fuh'k Bud-ehs: Fuck Buddies :D

Hulij-bpe: crazy.

N'biv-de: "Hawk."

Ooman: Human (slang).

Pyode Amedha: Soft meat (human).

Sucklings: Kids.

Thei'hma: "Death-Rites."

Hahaha… This story makes me laugh. Thus the awkward situation of explaining to people who hear you laugh what you are writing. The heat is getting hot! Will Thei'hma get laid? Will Ariana's _bacon_ disappear? Find out next time, next chapter! XD

I would like to send thanks for all the favs and alerts the story has thus received! And for all the great reviews! Please keep up the good work (because otherwise I cannot garentee I'll continue!)

Serendipity's tears: Here's the next part for you :D

Legal Humor: I honestly did too! (Though if by chance I called a real-life predator that, and he understood me, he'd probably take it as an insult and off goes the head, no? XD)

LordxXxofxXxDorkness: I haven't corrected the first chapter yet, but I hope this one is easier to read! :D

Ice-Eagle Y'siri: Thanks! :D

harris Roberts: Thanks! :D

cricket: Tis good to know! I'll try and keep them both up to quality~!

watergoddesskasey: Good to know! ;D


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